If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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