it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
