So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
