his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
