I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
