It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
