What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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