were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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