i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
