It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
