if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
