He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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