I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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