I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
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On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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