I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
