Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
