so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
