Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
