You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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