Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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