i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
