just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
