Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
