why do cheetos always look like penises
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
