Sry I called you an 8
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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