I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
