i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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