...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
