Rock
Scissors
Fuck
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
