I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
