i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
