dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Dicks are not precious.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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