it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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