i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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