Define "chronic" masturbator.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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