He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
