I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
