from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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