I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
