First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
