therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Say something about gay babies.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
