It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Why is your signature on my underwear?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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