I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
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