someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
he puts the penis in happiness.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
