You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
