never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
