Plan B is the new Plan A
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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