This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
