I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My nipple is on Facebook.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We need a shit load of segways right now
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
