Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
