I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
