Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
that may or may not have been my penis.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
