I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
