And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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