these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
