dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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