I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
