I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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