you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
