How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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