Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
