I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
