I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
