all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
