Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
