What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
