Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
There r osticjed everywhere
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
